[A small voice inside his head wants to say no, he isn't and just continue freely kissing the other man...but it's quickly shut out when Avicebron's tone shifts. It feels like a line being drawn, and there's a vague uneasiness that Zed can't quite place. Maybe it's because he can't see what kind of expression Avicebron's making.]
...Good. Better. [There's some hesitation-- would it be too weird to thank him? He's grateful, really. For Avicebron's patience and willingness to work with him despite his persistence, despite his different nature. Zed ends up rubbing circles against his lower back instead, moving on to another thought while enjoying the little sparks of Chroma under his fingertips:]
You? Er, that was...the first time using my blood like that.
[ There's probably some lingering need for intimacy, but the worst of it seems sated. Avicebron gives a quiet sigh in relief, with just the slight edge of satisfaction. His tone of voice softens just a touch. ]
There was no need for you to worry about me. But ... you did well. You're quite deft. And attentive.
[ And as much as part of him enjoys the knead of fingers against his back, he gently eases himself off of Zed's thighs. He might have agreed to this session out of necessity, but he still worries about the ramifications of dragging this out too long.
There's the quiet creak of metal as he lowers his mask once more, then he touches Zed's arm to get his attention. ]
O-oh, I see. My experience is limited, so... [He trails off as a self-conscious heat rises to his face. Well, at least it sounds like he did okay? That's good, probably. Navigating the aftermath, however, is a different thing entirely. As soon as Avicebron retreats, Zed can't help feeling the loss of the man's weight and warmth. He hikes his pants back up quickly, urged by his sense of propriety that he had thrown out the window moments before.
The sound of the mask being put into place evokes a feeling in his chest that he can't quite put his finger on. Still, the blood slides away back into the cuts he'd made once Avicebron gives the signal. Zed glances at the earthen walls that were lost to him until now, but his gaze quickly returns to the blond:]
This wasn't what we initially agreed upon...but thank you. [There, it's out.] And I'm sorry I put you in such a situation.
[ Ah, so the blood returns to his body. He'd had some worries that bloodloss might be a concern, and Avicebron's shoulders dip slightly in a silent sigh of relief. When Zed looks to him, he manages to hold that eye contact for a moment before dipping his gaze slightly. ]
Mm. As long as it was helpful to you, I don't mind. You needn't apologize.
[ He could probably stop there. Zed already seems to feel bad about what happened, and he doesn't particularly want to salt the wound. But still ... Avicebron pauses before continuing as patiently, as gently as he can manage. ]
But you should probably consider me a last resort for these things. I would be happy to help you resolve any aggression in the future. But when it comes to intimacy, you deserve someone better.
[ Zed's made himself presentable, so Avicebron snaps his fingers to send the earthen walls crumbling back into the ground. The air's immediately a little less stuffy, the distant sounds of the city returning. Thankfully, there still isn't a single person in sight. ]
[Hearing Avicebron put himself down still doesn't sit well with him. He's not sure exactly what he means by it, but his biggest guess would be insecurity about his physical differences. Could it be worries with the prosthetics or whatever he's hiding behind that mask? Zed's not exactly bothered if that is the case, but mostly because there's many similarities between him and his Master. Avicebron's physique is normalized to him. (And it's a plus he doesn't wear an animal skull for a mask.)
Or maybe this is just his way of letting him down easy. Zed thinks he should take the hint (real or not), but...]
I felt comfortable with you. And I didn't really mind the blindfold. [It's a quiet note. One that makes his face even more pink as he stands up and looks away. It feels so awkward to put his thoughts out there, yet it sounds like something Avicebron needs to hear:] I can't say what I do or don't deserve, but I enjoyed it. If it comes to a point where we end up in a similar situation, it won't be something like a last resort or that I find you lesser than others.
[...It feels like his heart is pounding out of his chest.]
[ ... it's good to be young, isn't it. To be earnest and sincere. Not that he was ever so honest as Zed is now. Hearing those words sends a strange prickle through his chest, equal parts nostalgic and pained. Avicebron regards Zed quietly for a moment before speaking calmly. ]
You 'don't mind the blindfold.' Most would have said 'I don't care what you look like.' [ Despite his word choice, it's not criticism, not at all. His tone of voice is softer than usual in that moment before evening back out. ] You're a considerate person, agreeing to my request without question or argument. Even in the heat of the moment, you honored that request. And I feel you should associate with someone of equal integrity.
[ In other words, it's not entirely a matter of appearances. Zed belongs with someone fundamentally better than him.
But Avicebron moves on before Zed can protest, slowly getting to his feet; he pulls the folds of his cloak closer around himself to hide any rips in his clothes. ]
Well, that is only my advice, in the end. If we ever find ourselves in a similar situation again, I doubt I'd be able to turn you away. But for now, it may be best to retire and rest. What do you think?
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...Good. Better. [There's some hesitation-- would it be too weird to thank him? He's grateful, really. For Avicebron's patience and willingness to work with him despite his persistence, despite his different nature. Zed ends up rubbing circles against his lower back instead, moving on to another thought while enjoying the little sparks of Chroma under his fingertips:]
You? Er, that was...the first time using my blood like that.
no subject
There was no need for you to worry about me. But ... you did well. You're quite deft. And attentive.
[ And as much as part of him enjoys the knead of fingers against his back, he gently eases himself off of Zed's thighs. He might have agreed to this session out of necessity, but he still worries about the ramifications of dragging this out too long.
There's the quiet creak of metal as he lowers his mask once more, then he touches Zed's arm to get his attention. ]
You can uncover your eyes.
no subject
The sound of the mask being put into place evokes a feeling in his chest that he can't quite put his finger on. Still, the blood slides away back into the cuts he'd made once Avicebron gives the signal. Zed glances at the earthen walls that were lost to him until now, but his gaze quickly returns to the blond:]
This wasn't what we initially agreed upon...but thank you. [There, it's out.] And I'm sorry I put you in such a situation.
no subject
Mm. As long as it was helpful to you, I don't mind. You needn't apologize.
[ He could probably stop there. Zed already seems to feel bad about what happened, and he doesn't particularly want to salt the wound. But still ... Avicebron pauses before continuing as patiently, as gently as he can manage. ]
But you should probably consider me a last resort for these things. I would be happy to help you resolve any aggression in the future. But when it comes to intimacy, you deserve someone better.
[ Zed's made himself presentable, so Avicebron snaps his fingers to send the earthen walls crumbling back into the ground. The air's immediately a little less stuffy, the distant sounds of the city returning. Thankfully, there still isn't a single person in sight. ]
no subject
Or maybe this is just his way of letting him down easy. Zed thinks he should take the hint (real or not), but...]
I felt comfortable with you. And I didn't really mind the blindfold. [It's a quiet note. One that makes his face even more pink as he stands up and looks away. It feels so awkward to put his thoughts out there, yet it sounds like something Avicebron needs to hear:] I can't say what I do or don't deserve, but I enjoyed it. If it comes to a point where we end up in a similar situation, it won't be something like a last resort or that I find you lesser than others.
[...It feels like his heart is pounding out of his chest.]
no subject
You 'don't mind the blindfold.' Most would have said 'I don't care what you look like.' [ Despite his word choice, it's not criticism, not at all. His tone of voice is softer than usual in that moment before evening back out. ] You're a considerate person, agreeing to my request without question or argument. Even in the heat of the moment, you honored that request. And I feel you should associate with someone of equal integrity.
[ In other words, it's not entirely a matter of appearances. Zed belongs with someone fundamentally better than him.
But Avicebron moves on before Zed can protest, slowly getting to his feet; he pulls the folds of his cloak closer around himself to hide any rips in his clothes. ]
Well, that is only my advice, in the end. If we ever find ourselves in a similar situation again, I doubt I'd be able to turn you away. But for now, it may be best to retire and rest. What do you think?